Sunday, September 5, 2010

QANTAS, Perth to Melbourne

"Would you like the chicken or the lamb?"
"Oh, actually I should have a vegetarian meal on the way...?"
"Did you order one?"
"Well you weren't on the list, you must have changed your flight."
"Not that I know of. I didn't book it."
"Oh, you must have changed it at the last minute."
"No, it's been booked for at least a month."
"And you're sure you ordered a vegetarian meal?"
"Yes, I was given one on the flight over here."
"Well, we do have two spare ones."
"The two guys sitting behind me ordered vegetarian too. Let them have 'em."
I'm not quite as strict with this stuff as the other guys, I was sure they'd appreciate me being the fall guy.
"Okay. Would you just like a tray then?"
"I'll have the lamb if you've got one."
It's not like I'm allergic to meat, I just don't think it's necessary to eat it three times a day, or even once a week for that matter. It's a sometimes food for me, and I've got to choose my times wisely. QANTAS is never going to be one of those times. That's why I eat vego on planes. But they fucked up, it's a long flight, and I'd rather it get eaten than thrown out. Clearly my effort to not cause a scene was completely lost on the flight attendant:
"A vegetarian but you'll eat lamb?? HA! The wonders never cease!"
That is what she really said.
"I'm being flexible."
"It's a preference. There's no need to laugh at me over it."
Aside: get fucked.
"What? Oh, you don't need to take it so seriously!"
Right. Fuck you too.


  1. Qantas fuck up my vgml at least 50% of the time. And they always try to blame it on something I've done -- changed flights, pressed the wrong button, whatever. If you're lucky you score a business class meal -- unlucky you get nothing. Once they tried to give me a box of Sultana Bran for lunch.

  2. It sounds like they screw up a lot. That's annoying, but her attitude was the bit that really got to me. Even if she was joking around, wtf, this isn't Virgin Blue.

  3. dude that's definitely worth an email to customer service. I've never had anyone ask me _why I ordered a vegetarian meal!

  4. Sultana Bran for lunch? What is this society coming to? :P... Seriously. They really need to get their act together! I thought flight attendants were meant to make flights easier, not mock people!

  5. The aside part should have been aloud. And the bit where you say "Fuck you too".

    Was Shazza serving you?