Saturday, August 15, 2009

Save Films From Their Directors: Latte, home

At considerable expense a few years ago I bought the Star Wars Trilogy on DVD. Little did I know, it included all the lameass CGI bits added in 1997 that look really cheap and late-90s in comparison to the timeless miniatures-hanging-on-wires and jerky claymation of the original films.
Even littler did I know: they would soon release the original films on DVD again, without those 1997 bits. Argh! I jumped a bit too early on that one. But it's okay, it's kind of fun to yell "lame!" when anything extraneously different happens.
Like the Emperor's voice AND FACE replaced by Ian McDarmand, for "consistency".
I mean, come on, George Lucas! Nobody cares that you switched actors for the same role! For crying out loud, we know Empire was made in the late 70s, and there was some other dude playing the Emperor in that ONE scene. Nobody cares. If anyone does care, it annoys them WAY less than you altering the original film.

And another thing: Boba Fett's voice was replaced. Jango Fett (if anyone remembers Phantom Menace) was played by Temuera Morrison. His son grew up to be the Boba Fett we all love and aspire to. But why does Temuera Morrison have to play Boba's overdubbed voice too? Is George Lucas so selectively racist that he thinks all Kiwis sound alike? Couldn't somebody else have said, "Put Ceptain Solo in the cargo hold"?

But why does he have to sound Kiwi anyway? The accents in Star Wars are plain weird, if you think about it too much. All of the Rebels have American accents, all of the high-ranked Imperial guys have British accents, and all the bounty hunters (and all the clones: let's not forget the Clone Wars were fought by dudes cloned from Jango Fett) have NZ accents, and Jar-Jar Binks is Jamaican, or something. But don't ask me which country's language inspired the voice of Salacious Crumb.

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