Tuesday, March 24, 2009

Espresso, home

Okay, I'm waiting TWO MINUTES after the thermostat light goes out now before I press GO and collect $200. This is getting seriously good. Also I'm grinding into a jar, shaking it about a bit (to convince the grounds to un-clump), and then pouring that into the PF. FYI, an empty Best Foods Mayonnaise jar is almost exactly the right height to fit under the grinder's mouth, just proving in yet another way that it's the best mayonnaise in the universe.

But there's more important things at hand. I just remembered I have more to add to yesterday's analysis of the coffee situation at Hobart Airport. I'm talking about the first coffee place you see when you walk into the departures area: Villa & Hut Kafe. The fact that they pluralise the word "kafe" with an apostrophe all over their website* should spell a warning. The fact that there is only one woman working the register AND the coffee machine should spell further warning. And yet we're still lured in by the dazzling array of LEDs attached to their shiny coffee machine.

The main problem with V&HK seemed to be that it was irresponsibly understaffed, and could not hope to meet the demands of the queue that had gathered. Remember, these people are all operating on a "I have a plane to catch" level of anxiety. And yet I was the only impatient cityslicker from the mainland who stood in line for five minutes before finally muttering "fuck this" and walking away. The sole staff member could easily have catered to the queue without pissing off people like me. Unfortunately she decided to follow this procedure:
  1. Take order from one customer
  2. Go to the coffee machine and make that order
  3. Repeat
Fuck. Me. It. Took. Ages. To. Whittle. Just. Three. People. Off. That. Queue! There must be an easier way.
"Hi, welcome to Villa and Hut. How can I help you today?"
"Two skinny cappucinos."
"And you?"
"A weak latte and a soy chai."
"And how about you?"
"A short black and a long black."
"Okay, what about you?"
"Just this apple juice."
"Okay that comes to $7.00, $7.50, $6.50 and $4.00."
A flurry of money changing hands ensues.
Then she goes to the coffee machine.
"Two skinny caps, a weak latte, a Muggsy Bogues, a Manute Bol and a soy chai. Let's boogie!"
No time wasted crossing from the register to the coffee machine. No time wasted switching from cashregistrar persona to barista and back. Most importantly:
They would have served the guy with the apple juice, a coffee blog and a grudge before his patience ran out!

* Actually, the whole Villa and Hut Kaffe website is a punctuation nightmare:

villa & hut kafe's - inhale the aroma's, take on the rythmic music and enjoy our cuisine

Ugh. I feel dirty even just quoting it. You'll be glad to know they were one of Australia's Top 50 Smart Companies in 2008. Clearly, spelling and punctuation were not among the selection criteria. I'll be sure to send them an angry letter as soon as I've dealt with whoever is responsible for the name of the business "Dogs Breakfast Trading Company". Try Googling them: it will ask if you meant to search for "dog's breakfast trading company". Google, once again, shows us the way.


  1. It's spelt 'cappuccinos'. Hehe sorry, couldn't resist!

  2. You should never drink anything you can't spell. Hmm. I guess that's why I haven't had a single cappuccino since I started the blog! Well I had one, but I ordered something else.

    Spelt? Isn't that a hardy wheat grown mostly in Europe?