Thursday, July 31, 2008

Latte, home

We're moving house soon. Am currently investigating online - and tabulating my findings in a comparative spreadsheet - who to go with for broadband at the new place. My current Optus service has no problems accessing the Telstra website, yet it keeps timing out when I try to look around the Optus site.
Should I bother going to the internet cafe around the corner to investigate Optus plans because my current Optus plan won't display its own page, or is this a sign that it's time to ditch Optus?
Let's face it though, inability to access their own site wouldn't be the only reason. Anybody who has ever called them for any reason knows how much of a nightmare it is. I used to just not say or press anything until they put me through to someone, but that doesn't work anymore.

"Please describe briefly what you are calling about."
"DSL internet."
"Did you say, 'home phone'?"
"No."
"Sorry, I didn't quite catch that. Please answer yes or no."
"NO."*
"Please describe briefly what you are calling about."
"IN. TER. NET."
"Okay. So this is about your...internet connection. Is it about your wireless, your DSL, your cable, or your dial-up internet?"
"D. S. L."
"Sorry, I didn't quite catch that. Is it about your wireless, your DSL, your cable, or your dial-up internet?"
"TURNIP."
"Okay. Please hold the line for a few moments while we figure out which indecipherably fast-talking customer service guy in India to handball your request to."

(The asterisk * denotes where you start to overemphasise every syllable, in an effort to be understood by the machine)

The call goes on. After it's finished, you'll probably have to call back because something didn't work out. I've had "St Kilda" misspelled in two different ways. Remarkably, I still received my bill.
And don't get me started about the singing fucking animals in their ads.

1 comment:

  1. Amen Brother. I think they make the automated system so damn frustrating so that the indecipherably fast-talking customer service guy in India doesn't seem so bad by comparison.

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